The Power of Mattering in Leadership: How Being Valued Fuels Impact with Zach Mercurio

What if the single biggest performance unlock in your team isn't a KPI but a feeling? Who on your team goes home unsure of whether they truly matter? When was the last time you showed someone, not just told them, exactly how their unique gifts made a difference? In Episode 290 of The Leadership Project podcast, we're revisiting an essential conversation with a beloved guest, Zach Mercurio, Ph.D., author of "The Invisible Leader," as he joins us again to celebrate his new book, "The Power of Mattering."

The Power of Mattering in Leadership: How Being Valued Fuels Impact with Zach Mercurio

The Core Idea

Zach's core idea resonates with profound clarity: it's almost impossible for anything to matter to someone who doesn't first believe that they matter. Mattering, he argues, isn't just fluff; it's a cornerstone of effective leadership, rooted in two primary experiences: feeling valued and adding value. These experiences form the foundation of meaningful interactions in both personal and professional settings.

The Importance of Feeling Significant

The essence of feeling significant begins with nurturing interactions where individuals feel valued. This conversation dives into how relationships are pivotal for well-being and discovering one's purpose. Leaders, peers, and communities play a crucial role in fostering environments where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.

Practical Applications

Zach offers practical insights to help leaders and individuals rebuild the everyday skills necessary for fostering these meaningful interactions. The conversation covers a framework based on noticing, affirming, and needing—three actions critical for making people feel seen, heard, and valued.

Noticing: 

• Observing closely and noting what you observe is key. Writing down details about your team members' lives and following up on them shows that not only do you remember, but you care.

  
  

• Ask meaningful questions beyond the typical "How are you?" to gain deeper insights into those around you. 

Affirming:

• Specifically recognizing how someone’s unique gifts make a difference is vital. It's about more than just appreciation; it’s giving evidence of their significance.

  
  

• Use affirmations that highlight strengths, purpose, perspective, and wisdom to help others feel uniquely valued.

Needing:

• Showing individuals that they are indispensable by explicitly communicating their unique contributions.

  
  

• Use phrases like “if it wasn't for you” to affirm someone’s impact and importance within the team or community.

The Cost of Anti-Matter

The discussion also touches on the cost of anti-matter—where people feel unseen, unheard, and unvalued. This often leads to feelings of insignificance, resulting in withdrawal or acting out. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for leaders who aim to foster more inclusive and engaging environments.

Final Reflections

This conversation is a call to action for leaders and individuals alike. It's about reflecting on personal experiences of feeling unseen and ensuring that no one in your team or community feels the same. By effectively employing the noticing, affirming, and needing framework, leaders can create environments where individuals feel they truly matter, thus unlocking their potential to contribute meaningfully.

In summary, when individuals feel that they matter, they are more likely to do things that matter. Zach Mercurio's insights serve as a powerful reminder of the significance of mattering in leadership and the profound impact it can have on both individuals and organizations.